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Post by dreamy on Jan 30, 2006 1:54:29 GMT 10
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
AND IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring food
2. Bring beer
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Post by andi on Jan 30, 2006 4:31:38 GMT 10
How true is that? #happy#
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Post by smudger on Feb 9, 2006 9:30:08 GMT 10
Well the things for a man are true but there are many things missing .. #laugh# , the things for a woman ...welll #shock# . I think i fufill nearly all the desired requirements but no man is perfect ...... #laugh# , ( no woman either ) .
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Post by bigal69 on Apr 2, 2006 8:06:39 GMT 10
true true true
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Post by smudger on Apr 7, 2006 8:33:39 GMT 10
How To Make Women Happy... The Point System (advice according to women)
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Simple Duties: You make the bed (+1) You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0) You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You leave the toilet seat up (-5) You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty (0) When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1) When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom (-2)
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings (+5) In the snow (+8) But return with beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0) You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing (0) You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5) You pummel it with a six iron (+10) It's her pet (-10)
Social Engagements At a Party: You stay by her side the entire party (0) You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy (-2) Named Tiffany (-4) Tiffany is a dancer (-6) Tiffany has implants (-8)
Her Birthday: You take her out to dinner (0) You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1) Okay, it is a sports bar (-2) And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3) It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted in all of the colors of your favorite sports team (-10)
A Night Out With the Boys: Go with a pal (-5) The pal is happily married (-4) Or frighteningly single (-7) And he drives a Mustang (-10) With a personalized license plate that reads GR8 N BED (-15)
A Night Out: You take her to a movie (+2) You take her to a movie she likes (+4) You take her to a movie you hate (+6) You take her to a movie you like (-2) It's called DeathCop 9 (-3) Which features cyborgs that eat humans (-9) You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
Your Physique: You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15) You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10) You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30) You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-800)
Communication: When she wants to talk about a problem: You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0) You listen, for over 30 minutes (+5) You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+100) She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-20)
The Big Question: She asks, "Do I look fat?" You hesitate in responding (-10) You reply, "Where?" (-35) Any other response (-20)
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Post by LLady on Apr 7, 2006 21:46:48 GMT 10
Well the things for a man are true but there are many things missing .. #laugh# , the things for a woman ...welll #shock# . I think i fufill nearly all the desired requirements but no man is perfect ...... #laugh# , ( no woman either ) . True very true...
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Elly
Administrator
Posts: 29,887
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Post by Elly on Apr 8, 2006 3:46:02 GMT 10
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be: 1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynecologist 16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener 21. an organizer 22. a good father 23. very clean 24. sympathetic 25. athletic 26. warm 27. attentive 28. gallant 29. intelligent 30. funny 31. creative 32. tender 33. strong 34. understanding 35. tolerant 36. prudent 37. ambitious 38. capable 39. courageous 40. determined 41. true 42. dependable 43. passionate 44. compassionate WITHOUT FORGETTING TO: 45. give her compliments regularly 46. love shopping 47. be honest 48. be very rich 49. not stress her out 50. not look at other girls AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO: 51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself 52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself 53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes AND IT IS VERY IMPORTANT: 54. Never to forget: * birthdays * anniversaries * arrangements she makes HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY 1. Show up naked 2. Bring food 2. Bring beer we don't expect much of the male species
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Post by LLady on Apr 8, 2006 4:00:17 GMT 10
#happy#
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Post by smudger on Apr 25, 2006 14:47:57 GMT 10
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.
At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.
They hear a faint moan! They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies.
Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out: "Watch that wall!"
An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.
Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and her dress was an oyster and it was a pearl worth $50,000 . . .please advise"
The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap"
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Post by LLady on Apr 26, 2006 6:05:04 GMT 10
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan! They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out: "Watch that wall!" An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and her dress was an oyster and it was a pearl worth $50,000 . . .please advise" The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap"
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Post by smudger on Apr 27, 2006 14:31:38 GMT 10
Women's Training Courses
1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
12. Introduction to Parking
13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat
15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
19. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His
20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To
21. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice
23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
24. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
25. TV Remotes: For Men Only
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Post by dreamy on Apr 28, 2006 0:17:54 GMT 10
Just good we have NO prejudices....
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