Post by megan4 on Nov 25, 2005 8:00:51 GMT 10
Two farmers, Tam and Shuie, are sitting in the Fermer's Bar, drinking beer. Tam turns to Shuie and says, "You know, I'm tired of goin' through life withoot an education. The morn, I think I'll go to the community college and sign up for some classes."
Shuie thinks its a good idea, and the two leave.
The next day Tam goes down to the college and meets The Lecturer, who signs him up for the four basic classes: maths, english, history, and logic.
"Logic?" Tam says. "Whit's 'at?"
the Lecturer says, "I'll show you. Do you own a Strimmer?"
"Aye"
"Then logically because you own a Strimmer, I think you have a garden".
"That's true, I dae huv a garden".
"I'm not done", the Lecturer says. "Because you have a garden, I think logically that you would have a house".
"Aye, I do huv a hoose."
"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family".
"I huv a family".
"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife".
"Aye, I dae huv a wife".
"And because you have a wife, then logically you must be heterosexual".
"I am heterosexual. That's amazing! You were able to find out all of that because I huv a Strimmer".
Excited to take the class now, Tam shakes the Lecturer's hand, and leaves to meet Shuie at the pub.
He tells Shuie about his classes, how he is signed up for maths, english, history and logic.
"Logic?" Shuie says, "Whit's 'at"
Tam says, "I'll show you. Do you have a Strimmer?"
"No."
"Then you're a poof".
Shuie thinks its a good idea, and the two leave.
The next day Tam goes down to the college and meets The Lecturer, who signs him up for the four basic classes: maths, english, history, and logic.
"Logic?" Tam says. "Whit's 'at?"
the Lecturer says, "I'll show you. Do you own a Strimmer?"
"Aye"
"Then logically because you own a Strimmer, I think you have a garden".
"That's true, I dae huv a garden".
"I'm not done", the Lecturer says. "Because you have a garden, I think logically that you would have a house".
"Aye, I do huv a hoose."
"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family".
"I huv a family".
"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife".
"Aye, I dae huv a wife".
"And because you have a wife, then logically you must be heterosexual".
"I am heterosexual. That's amazing! You were able to find out all of that because I huv a Strimmer".
Excited to take the class now, Tam shakes the Lecturer's hand, and leaves to meet Shuie at the pub.
He tells Shuie about his classes, how he is signed up for maths, english, history and logic.
"Logic?" Shuie says, "Whit's 'at"
Tam says, "I'll show you. Do you have a Strimmer?"
"No."
"Then you're a poof".
I didn't even know what some of the terms were until I started reading Scottish forums! My grandfather's people from my mother's side came from Kintyre (Campbeltown). 
