|
BLONDE
Dec 28, 2005 22:23:09 GMT 10
Post by dreamy on Dec 28, 2005 22:23:09 GMT 10
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice bottle? A: Because it said concentrate. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Blonde Jokes Number 5 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?" #happy#
|
|
|
BLONDE
Dec 29, 2005 7:34:22 GMT 10
Post by LLady on Dec 29, 2005 7:34:22 GMT 10
THE TALE OF THE BLONDE HORSEBACK RIDER > > > > > > > A young blonde woman decides to try horseback riding, even though > she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse > unassisted and the horse immediately springs into action. > > > > > As it gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the blonde > begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, > but cannot get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the > horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway! > > > > > The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping > rider. Finally, losing her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away > from the horse and throw herself to safety. > > > > > > Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she > is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is > struck against the ground over and over and over. > > > > > > As her head is battered against the ground and she is mere moments > away from unconsciousness, to her great fortune, Frank the Wal-Mart > greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse. > > >
|
|
|
BLONDE
Dec 31, 2005 18:10:52 GMT 10
Post by andi on Dec 31, 2005 18:10:52 GMT 10
Five blonde women enter a bar and order a bottle of champagne and ten glasses from the barman. They go and occupy a table, set a small framed picture in the middle, and start laughing and dancing around the table chanting, '51 days! 51 days!'.
A few minutes later, five more blondes enter the bar and join the others at the table. There is much laughing and merriment, alternating with the ritual chanting of '51 days! 51 days!'.
Finally, the barman can no longer control his curiosity and he strolls over to the table to see what is going on.
In the center is a picture of The Loch Ness Monster in a frame. When the barman asks what the celebration is all about, one of the women says, 'We were all tired of the blonde jokes about how dumb we are, so we got together and put this puzzle together. On the package it said '2 to 4 years', but we all worked together and put the puzzle together in 51 days!'
|
|
|
BLONDE
Jan 6, 2006 22:28:03 GMT 10
Post by andi on Jan 6, 2006 22:28:03 GMT 10
A blonde phones the fire brigade and says. 'Can you please come quick,
my house is on fire and will be ruined if you don't save it!'
The fireman asks. "How do we get there?"
"Hellloooooo", the blonde replies. "In the big red truck!"
|
|
|
BLONDE
Jan 7, 2006 12:53:31 GMT 10
Post by LLady on Jan 7, 2006 12:53:31 GMT 10
#laugh#
|
|
Elly
Administrator
Posts: 29,887
|
BLONDE
Jan 13, 2006 22:26:22 GMT 10
Post by Elly on Jan 13, 2006 22:26:22 GMT 10
A brunette, a redhead and a blonde all worked in an office with the same female boss. Each and every day their boss would leave work early.
One day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they'd leave right behind her. After all, she never called in or came back to the office when she left early, so how was she to know?
So that day, all three sneaked out of the office as soon as the boss was gone.
The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, baking and puttered around the house.
The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the health club before meeting her dinner date.
The blonde was happy, happy, happy to be home, but when she got to her bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her BOSS!
Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.
The next day at coffee break, the brunette and redhead decided they were leaving early again, and asked the blonde if she was coming with them.
"No way!" she exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday!"
#happy#
|
|
|
BLONDE
Jan 14, 2006 3:30:54 GMT 10
Post by dreamy on Jan 14, 2006 3:30:54 GMT 10
#cheeky# #happy# #happy# #happy#
|
|
|
BLONDE
Jan 14, 2006 6:40:21 GMT 10
Post by LLady on Jan 14, 2006 6:40:21 GMT 10
A brunette, a redhead and a blonde all worked in an office with the same female boss. Each and every day their boss would leave work early. One day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they'd leave right behind her. After all, she never called in or came back to the office when she left early, so how was she to know? So that day, all three sneaked out of the office as soon as the boss was gone. The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, baking and puttered around the house. The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the health club before meeting her dinner date. The blonde was happy, happy, happy to be home, but when she got to her bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her BOSS! Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house. The next day at coffee break, the brunette and redhead decided they were leaving early again, and asked the blonde if she was coming with them. "No way!" she exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday!" #happy# ;D
|
|
|
BLONDE
Jan 14, 2006 8:12:19 GMT 10
Post by dreamy on Jan 14, 2006 8:12:19 GMT 10
Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH? A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: Why can't a blonde get a drivers license? A: Because every time the instructor says "Let's park" she jumps in the back seat.
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change.
Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla? A: Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do.
Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours? A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? A: A Space Invader.
Q: Why did God create blondes? A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? A: Last year's hide and seek champ.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote? A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
|
|
Elly
Administrator
Posts: 29,887
|
BLONDE
Jan 14, 2006 18:21:17 GMT 10
Post by Elly on Jan 14, 2006 18:21:17 GMT 10
#happy# #happy#
|
|
Elly
Administrator
Posts: 29,887
|
BLONDE
Jan 14, 2006 18:22:01 GMT 10
Post by Elly on Jan 14, 2006 18:22:01 GMT 10
A man got on the bus with both of his front trouser pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to a beautiful young blonde woman.
Puzzled, the woman kept looking at him and his bulging pants pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, the man looked at her and said, "It's golf balls".
The woman nodded, but continued to glance at the front of his trousers. Finally, no longer able to contain her curiousity, she asked him, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
|
|
|
BLONDE
Jan 16, 2006 11:22:27 GMT 10
Post by dreamy on Jan 16, 2006 11:22:27 GMT 10
A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it."
Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty five minutes.
Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart."
|
|