Elly
Administrator
Posts: 29,887
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Truth
May 14, 2006 0:06:19 GMT 10
Post by Elly on May 14, 2006 0:06:19 GMT 10
Always tell the truth in court
Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother, to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs Jones, do you know me?" She replied, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big dissapointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you will never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs Jones, do you know the defence attorney?"
She again replied,"Why yes I do. I've known Mr Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defence attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said,
"Neither of you bastards better ask her if she knows me."
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Truth
May 14, 2006 0:53:26 GMT 10
Post by dreamy on May 14, 2006 0:53:26 GMT 10
#happy# #happy# #happy#
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Truth
May 14, 2006 8:02:23 GMT 10
Post by smudger on May 14, 2006 8:02:23 GMT 10
Not bad , not bad at all Elly had a good laugh at that one #laugh#
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Truth
May 14, 2006 8:07:38 GMT 10
Post by smudger on May 14, 2006 8:07:38 GMT 10
At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."
The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your real father a big hug."
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