Elly
Administrator
Posts: 29,887
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Post by Elly on Nov 5, 2005 8:58:37 GMT 10
Great Britain
Three men are having conversation about each other's daughters. An Englishman, Scottish and an Irishman.
The Englishman said: "I found a packet of cigarrettes in my daughter's bedroom. I didnt even know she smokes."
But the Scottish said: "Well, that's nothing. I found a bottle of whisky in my daughter's bedroom. I didnt even know she drinks."
Then finally the Irishman said: "huh! Consider yourselves lucky. The other day I found a packet of condoms in my daughter's bedroom. I didnt even known she has a dick!"
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Post by dreamy on Nov 6, 2005 0:22:43 GMT 10
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Post by LLady on Nov 6, 2005 7:19:55 GMT 10
Great Britain Three men are having conversation about each other's daughters. An Englishman, Scottish and an Irishman. The Englishman said: "I found a packet of cigarrettes in my daughter's bedroom. I didnt even know she smokes." But the Scottish said: "Well, that's nothing. I found a bottle of whisky in my daughter's bedroom. I didnt even know she drinks." Then finally the Irishman said: "huh! Consider yourselves lucky. The other day I found a packet of condoms in my daughter's bedroom. I didnt even known she has a dick!"
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Post by andi on Nov 7, 2005 20:00:08 GMT 10
An Englishman and a Scotsman are driving at night on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving too fast for the conditions and collide in the middle of a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are write-offs. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their country's age-old emnities. The Scotsman goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of premium malt whisky. "Slainte" he says and hands the bottle to the Englishman, who exclaims, "may the Scots and the English live together forever, in peace, and harmony." The Englishman then tips the bottle and gulps half of the bottle down. He handed the bottle back to the Scotsman, who replies: "I'll no bother thanks, I'll just wait till the Police get here."
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Elly
Administrator
Posts: 29,887
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Post by Elly on Nov 7, 2005 20:15:31 GMT 10
An Englishman and a Scotsman are driving at night on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving too fast for the conditions and collide in the middle of a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are write-offs. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their country's age-old emnities. The Scotsman goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of premium malt whisky. "Slainte" he says and hands the bottle to the Englishman, who exclaims, "may the Scots and the English live together forever, in peace, and harmony." The Englishman then tips the bottle and gulps half of the bottle down. He handed the bottle back to the Scotsman, who replies: "I'll no bother thanks, I'll just wait till the Police get here."
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Post by LLady on Nov 8, 2005 8:17:36 GMT 10
An Englishman and a Scotsman are driving at night on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving too fast for the conditions and collide in the middle of a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are write-offs. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their country's age-old emnities. The Scotsman goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of premium malt whisky. "Slainte" he says and hands the bottle to the Englishman, who exclaims, "may the Scots and the English live together forever, in peace, and harmony." The Englishman then tips the bottle and gulps half of the bottle down. He handed the bottle back to the Scotsman, who replies: "I'll no bother thanks, I'll just wait till the Police get here."
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Post by andi on Nov 8, 2005 23:51:18 GMT 10
When Big Peter Reid dies in Glasgow, his widow wishes to tell all his friends at once, so she goes to the newspaper and says I'd like tae place an obituary fur ma late husband" The man at the desk says "OK, how much money dae ye have?" The old woman replies "£5" to which the man says "You wont get many words for that but write something and we'll see if it's ok". So the old woman writes something and hands it over the counter and the man reads "Big Peter Reid, fae Parkheid, deid". The clerk feels guilty at the abruptness of the statement and encourages the old woman to write a few more things. The old woman ponders and then adds a few more words and hands the paper over the counter again. The clerk then reads "Big Peter Reid, fae Parkheid deid. Ford Escort for sale" ------------------------------ How so bad
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Post by LLady on Nov 10, 2005 6:09:40 GMT 10
#laugh#
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