Elly
Administrator
Posts: 29,887
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Post by Elly on Nov 25, 2005 21:55:09 GMT 10
There's an English man, Irish man and a Scotsman.
They're being chased by a policeman. They see this old warehouse so they run in. Inside there are 3 empty sacks on the floor. They each jump in a sack. In comes the copper and see's these three bundles on the floor. Goes up to the first one and kicks it. The English man shout out, "Woof Woof", and the copper thinking it's just an old dog leaves it and kicks the second sack. The Scotsman yells out, "Me-ow me-ow", he leaves this one as well thinking its just an old cat. He walks over to the last sack and kicks it, and the Irish man yells out.. "Potatoes Potatoes..!"
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gale
Clan Member
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Post by gale on Nov 25, 2005 22:57:11 GMT 10
 Elly, that was a good one! On my dad's side of the family, his great grandmother, came over to Pennsylvania via Canada on a potato boat. The blight sent many of Ireland's brightest to America. My grandfather then came on down to Texas with Standard Oil- refinery in Fort Worth, TX.
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Elly
Administrator
Posts: 29,887
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Post by Elly on Nov 26, 2005 21:09:02 GMT 10
Hi Gale, the one thing well we have a lot in common with the Irish but the ability to laugh at ourselves is one we share #happy#
There was a Scotsman an Englishman and an Irishman all sitting on a tea - break on a building site the Englishman pipe's up if my wife put's Cheese on my sandwich's again Iam going to kill myself and the Scotsman say's if my wife put's Egg on my sandwich's again I will kill myself and the Irishman say's if I find Gammon on my sandwich's again I will kill myself so sure enough the next day all three open up there lunch boxes and find the sandwich's are all full of Cheese ,Egg and Gammon once again so they all go off to different part's of the site and kill themselve's later in the week all three men are being buried and the englishman's wife say's if he diddn't want cheese on his sandwich's he should have told me and this wouldn't have happened then the Scotsman's wife come's away with the same statement concerning the Egg sandwich's then the Irishman's wife pipe's up I can't understand this, Paddy make's his own sandwich's.
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Post by krystal on Nov 28, 2005 20:54:10 GMT 10
#laugh# #laugh# Irish!! #laugh#
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Post by krystal on Nov 28, 2005 21:17:31 GMT 10
3 guys, 1 Irish, 1 English and 1 Scot, are walking along the beach one day and come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Genie.
The Irish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity."
So, with a blink of the Genie's eye "AlKaZoom" the oceans were teaming with fish.
The English guy was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that nothing will get in for all eternity.
Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye "AlkaZoom - POOF" there was a huge wall around England. The Scot asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out."
The Scot says, "Ach, fill it up with water."
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Post by krystal on Nov 28, 2005 21:18:56 GMT 10
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were standing looking at a prize cow in a field.
The Englishman says "Look at that fine English cow."
The Irishman disagreed, saying "No, it's an Irish cow."
The Scotsman thought for a moment and then clinched the argument. "No, it's a Scottish cow - it's got bagpipes underneath!"
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Post by smudger on Nov 29, 2005 9:32:50 GMT 10
An English man and an Irish man are driving head on , at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving to fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on. At this point, the Irish man goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of Jameson whiskey. He hands the bottle to the English man, whom exclaims,'' may the English and the Irish live together forever, in peace, and harmony.'' The English man then tips the bottle and lashes half of it down. Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the Irish man, whom replies: '' no thanks, I'll just wait till the Garda get here!''
( Garda - Irish Police ).
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Post by krystal on Nov 30, 2005 20:16:29 GMT 10
#happy# not as dumb as he looks!!
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Elly
Administrator
Posts: 29,887
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Post by Elly on Nov 30, 2005 21:11:02 GMT 10
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were caught by partisans of a downtrodden Arab sheik, who decided that they must be shot. The three remembered that the partisans were scared to death of natural disasters, and that it might be possible to escape. The Englishman was taken out to be shot, and suddenly looked to the left and yelled, "Flood!" There was instant chaos and the Englishman escaped. When order hand been restored, the Scotsman was taken out to be shot. He suddenly looked to the right and yelled, "Sandstorm!" Again there was chaos, and the Scotsman escaped. Then the Irishman was taken out. He looked straight ahead at the troops and yelled, "Fire!".
And they did...
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Post by dreamy on Nov 30, 2005 22:52:30 GMT 10
I have to send these jokes to my Irish buddy; bet he'll love them! #happy# #happy# #devil#
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Post by LLady on Dec 4, 2005 10:26:52 GMT 10
3 guys, 1 Irish, 1 English and 1 Scot, are walking along the beach one day and come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Genie. The Irish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity." So, with a blink of the Genie's eye "AlKaZoom" the oceans were teaming with fish. The English guy was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that nothing will get in for all eternity. Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye "AlkaZoom - POOF" there was a huge wall around England. The Scot asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out." The Scot says, "Ach, fill it up with water." ;D |
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Post by LLady on Dec 4, 2005 10:29:12 GMT 10
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were caught by partisans of a downtrodden Arab sheik, who decided that they must be shot. The three remembered that the partisans were scared to death of natural disasters, and that it might be possible to escape. The Englishman was taken out to be shot, and suddenly looked to the left and yelled, "Flood!" There was instant chaos and the Englishman escaped. When order hand been restored, the Scotsman was taken out to be shot. He suddenly looked to the right and yelled, "Sandstorm!" Again there was chaos, and the Scotsman escaped. Then the Irishman was taken out. He looked straight ahead at the troops and yelled, "Fire!". And they did... |
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