Elly
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Posts: 29,887
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Post by Elly on Oct 16, 2005 15:42:42 GMT 10
He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said...You wear briefs, don't you? He said... Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune? She said...Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money. He said... "This coffee isn't fit for a pig!" She said..."No problem, I'll get you some." She said...What do you mean by coming home half drunk? He said... It's not my fault...I ran out of money. He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way. She said...Well, you succeeded. Priest... 'I don't think you will ever find another man like your late husband.' She said...'Who's gonna look?' He said... You have a flat chest and need to shave your legs, have you ever been mistaken for a man? She said...No, have you? He said... Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains? She said...Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind. He said... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said...Turn sideways and look in the mirror. He said... Let's go out and have some fun tonight. She said...Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on. He said... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm? She said...I would, but you're never there.
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Post by andi on Oct 16, 2005 18:38:29 GMT 10
He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said...You wear briefs, don't you? #ssmile#
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Post by dreamy on Oct 16, 2005 20:31:11 GMT 10
He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said...You wear briefs, don't you? He said... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm? She said...I would, but you're never there.
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Post by krystal on Oct 16, 2005 20:37:24 GMT 10
He said... Let's go out and have some fun tonight. She said...Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
i like it!!! #happy#
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Elly
Administrator
Posts: 29,887
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Post by Elly on Oct 17, 2005 19:40:06 GMT 10
Personal Ads Decoded TRANSLATIONS OF TERMS USED: THE MALE SIDE OF THE LIST: 40-ish...................52 and looking for 25-yr-old Athletic................Sits on the couch and watches sport Average looking...Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, and back Educated..............Will always treat you like an idiot Free Spirit............ Sleeps with anyone Friendship first..... As long as friendship includes touching & nudity. Fun........................Good with a remote and a six pack Good looking.........Arrogant Honest....................Pathological liar Huggable................Overweight, more body hair than a buffalo Likes to cuddle.......Insecure, overly dependent Mature ...................Until you get to know him Open-minded..........Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not interested Physically fit............I spend a lot of time in front of mirror admiring myself Poet....................... Has written on a bathroom door Spiritual.................. Once went to church with his grandmother on Easter Sunday Stable..................... Occasional stalker, but never arrested
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Post by braveheart007 on Oct 17, 2005 20:30:47 GMT 10
Is Your Computer 'Male' or 'Female'? As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female. (e.g., "Steady as she goes" or "She's listing to starboard, Captain!") Recently, a group of computer scientists (all male) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion follows: Five reasons to believe computers are female: 1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic. 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you." 4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. 5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. However, another group of computer scientists (all female) think that computers should be referred to as if they were male. Their reasons follow: 1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless. 2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem. 3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model. 4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. 5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night. Ian
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Post by dreamy on Oct 17, 2005 20:37:10 GMT 10
Is Your Computer 'Male' or 'Female'? As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female. (e.g., "Steady as she goes" or "She's listing to starboard, Captain!") Recently, a group of computer scientists (all male) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion follows: Five reasons to believe computers are female: 1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic. 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you." 4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. 5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. However, another group of computer scientists (all female) think that computers should be referred to as if they were male. Their reasons follow: 1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless. 2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem. 3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model. 4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. 5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night. Ian Not sure if I totally agree with the first part, Ian ;D but I love the second part indeed!
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Post by dreamy on Oct 17, 2005 20:37:50 GMT 10
Why do men don’t have boobs? >>They can’t handle any double burden.
Why do men have a good conscience? >>They never used it.
Why don’t blondes ever talk to me? >>They are not THAT daft…
What does a wife do when her hubby wants to throw himself out of the window? >>She asks him to take the garbage with him.
Why it is tragic when 2 men in a Golf crash against a wall with high speed? >>Wasted space, 3 more men could have fit into the car also…
What title does the thinnest book of the world have? >>What men know about women…
When do men claim women can’t think logically? >>Whenever women don’t share their opinion.
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Post by braveheart007 on Oct 17, 2005 20:44:19 GMT 10
like to give 5 of each, after all only fair A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills... She had 14 kids, but she didn't mind a bit! Ian
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Elly
Administrator
Posts: 29,887
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Post by Elly on Oct 17, 2005 20:45:36 GMT 10
What does a wife do when her hubby wants to throw himself out of the window? >>She asks him to take the garbage with him. my favourite
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Post by dreamy on Oct 17, 2005 20:48:49 GMT 10
like to give 5 of each, after all only fair A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills... She had 14 kids, but she didn't mind a bit! Ian
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Elly
Administrator
Posts: 29,887
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Post by Elly on Oct 17, 2005 20:54:56 GMT 10
Is Your Computer 'Male' or 'Female'? As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female. (e.g., "Steady as she goes" or "She's listing to starboard, Captain!") Recently, a group of computer scientists (all male) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion follows: Five reasons to believe computers are female: 1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic. 4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. However, another group of computer scientists (all female) think that computers should be referred to as if they were male. Their reasons follow: 1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless. 2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem. 5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night. Ian LOL love these ones
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